Family Friendly
by Axletia Rosonetis
Summary: Ichijo and Aido have different thoughts of the concept of fun. Oneshot.


Family-Friendly

_Note : Timeline of fanfic covers only the first two volumes on Vampire Knight. Nyah. _

_^^ Hee-hee, just wanted to see how Aido and Ichijo would get along. Not well, I guess. XD_

* * *

" Kaname-sama ! Look at what we did just for you ! "

Ichijo shoved Kaname into a closet. It was a tiring night, and all Kaname wanted to do was to fall into bed and slip into a deep slumber for the day, but somehow the pureblood was stopped along the way to his room by Ichijo and Shiki, Ichijo insisting that he had something important to show. This thing, however, was not as important as Ichijo claimed.

It was a broom closet, decorated with pink, frilly curtains. Kaname couldn't help but have his left eye twitch rather dangerously. " Takuma, " he growled, a fang gently pressing down on the bottom of his lip, " you dragged me here at nine in the morning to see a _broom closet_ ? "

Shiki, who somehow managed to squeeze into the closet without no one noticing, frowned. " You...._don't_ like it, Kaname-sama ? "

The twitch grew more noticeable. Kaname sighed sharply. " Senri. I thought you would know me better. I am a man of tasteful desires. I do not wish to be in a broom closet. "

Ichijo gasped. " Oh, now I know what Kaname-sama wants ! How can it not be so obvious ? Kaname-sama's wish is to have Yuki ! "

-.- " I'm leaving now. "

* * *

" How could Kaname-sama reject our generosity, Shiki ? "

" I dunno. I don't think he likes broom closets. "

T^T " He once put a bucket on my head as punishment. Stupid Cross. "

The two boys looked down from the bed where they were standing on and saw another vampire sitting on the soft blankets. Ichijo grinned in delight as he jumped off the bed and locked his arms around the visitor's neck. " Aido ! Nice to see you again ! Y'know, you really shouldn't belittle Yuki. She would've stayed at my birthday party longer, but Kiryu dragged her out. She didn't even get a piece of cake ! Oh, I hope she's not mad at me. Yuki's like the little sister I never had. Her hair smells like shampoo. Yummy. Aido, why didn't you bring any shampo- "

" What are you doing here, Hanabusa ? " Shiki interrupted, silencing the hyper Ichijo. " It's not like you to visit. "

Aido shrugged. " I was bored. Akatsuki was loitering in the Day Class cafeteria on the sneaks, and he ended up getting suspended for a week. He said it was worth it, though, says that they make an amazing waffle. So, since Kaname-sama is still angry at me, I decided to see what you guys are up to. Any girly magazines that we can look at ? "

Ichijo shook his head. " Nope. I've never seen a girly magazine in my life. "

(Shiki) " We have Entertainment Weekly. "

" Oh, yeah ! Aido, we have Entertainment Weekly. I think it's under the bed. "

" ....Would you get your hands off of me ? "

" Sure ! "

Ichijo unraveled his arms around Aido's neck. Aido rubbed the sore spot, groaning. " Uh-huh. What about any sweets ? My fangs are starting to itch from a lack of sugar. "

" Nope. "

" Oh. What about anything fun, like violence or gore ? "

" Nuh-uh. We have family-friendly fun. "

" Uhhh....."

^^ " Hey, Aido, let's have some family fun ! "

" Nuhh, I-don't-think-s- "

" Hey, Shiki, wanna come ? "

Shiki eyed the bed. " No, thanks, Takuma. I think I'm going to take a nap. "

" Okay, then ! " Ichijo grabbed Aido's arm and pulled him towards the door. " Lessgooooo ! "

* * *

Several flights down from the Moon Dormitory, inside the basement, was a bowling alley. Loud and free-spirited, most of the vampires did not venture into this destination....which is why Ichijo belonged here, and Aido didn't.

Both vampires were wearing clothes and shoes designed for bowling. Aido held a lime green bowling ball, slender fingers clutching the inside of the holes. He glanced at Ichijo, who was playing with the scoreboard, and winced. " This is what family-friendly fun is ?! " he demanded, a neutral glance turning into a glaring one. " Bowling ?! I thought when you said fun, it would be the two of us sneaking around the dormitory and stirring up girls' emotions, or drinking stolen beer that was planted in Akatsuki's room ! Bowling _sucks_ ! "

He pouted and dropped the ball, which landed on his toes. A sharp squeal of pain came from his mouth. " I _hate _this ! Why did you bring me to this treacherous place, Ichijo ? I wish not to be mocked like this. I wish to be with pretty girls...and eat sweet cookies. "

Ichijo grinned, picking up Ichijo's ball and making a strike with it. " Hanabusa-kun, if you do not perform all aspects of fun, then how do you expect to enjoy life ? Look at me - I read manga, eat cake, barely do my homework, _and_ I love bowling. You seem to go into the red-light district. I mean, wearing a sweater-vest _is_ pretty humble, but you shouldn't depend on being an idol for young, human girls. Their interests can switch pretty quickly. "

Aido looked mortified. " Well, I'm glad _you're_ having fun, and _I'm_ glad that this game is over, but don't ever call me Hanabusa-kun again, 'kay ? "

" Okay ! "

(. . . . . . . . . .)

" Hanabusa-kun, do you wanna eat some cake ? "

T^T " Yes, please. "

" Okie-dokie, then. "

A pink cake with fluffy white frosting along its edges appeared out of nowhere and sat on a table. Ichijo placed two plates next to the cake and served a slice of equal proportion on each plate. Somehow, the frosting on both slices grew in size and fluffy.

Aido sweatdropped as he slowly sunk into one of the chairs. He poked his slice of cake with a fork, wondering where the fork had come from, or why a fork would be in a bowling alley in the first place. Then, a small, squeaky voice in his head started to scream at him about how ninety percent of the world wanted to either kill him or hug him to death. And then, a louder voice shouted that this magical cake tasted delicious, and all thoughts in his head evaporated.

" Yay, Aido loves my cake ! I'm so happy, especially when it was made out of soy and tofu ! Only the best know that the best cake is one with tofu frosting ! "

" _BLEEEEECH ! "_ Mushy pink and white chunks of cake went all over the floor and Aido's pants. The rest of the slice was swiped off the table and flew into a wall, leaving another mess. Ichijo's eyebrows furrowed worriedly. " Oh, Aido, are you sick ? Did something upset your stomach ? Do you want a stomach pill ? "

_" I WANT REAL SUGAR ! HOW COULD YOU BE SO WEIRD ?! "_ Aido wailed, pointing to Ichijo's slice of cake. " You're a _vampire_ ! How could you be so childish at eighteen ? How could you be so...._boring_ ? "

V.V " Well, you_ chose_ to come with me, Hanabusa-kun. "

_" YOU DRAGGED ME BY THE ARM ! "_

" So ? You came to our room. You shouldn't complain about your misfortunes. And I suppose we should proceed with our next family-friendly activity. " Suddenly, Ichijo's lips curled into a sly smile. " Nyah....unless you're scared of being bored to death. Hanabusa ? "

Aido glared at Ichijo. " Bring it on, _sempai._ "

* * *

" Hey, why the hell did you blindfold me ? Aren't family-friendly activities supposed to be happy and not shady ? "

Ichijo placed a hand over Aido's mouth. " Hush, Idol-san. Hiding in closets is my certified speciality. "

-.- " I thought reading manga in algebra is your speciality. "

" Nuh-uh, that's my minor. "

" Why would you want to hide in a closet ? "

" It makes me feel mysterious. "

Suddenly, the closet doors were flung open, and Aido was staring directly at Zero. Seeing that they were speechless, Ichijo wrapped his arms around Zero's neck and hugged him. " Kiryu-kun ! Surprise ! "

" What the hell are you vampires doing in my closet ?! " Zero barked, pointing angrily at the two vampires.

Ichijo looked down at the floor and sniffled. " We were just visiting while we took a secret stroll around the Day Class dormitory. Want a piece of cake ? "

Aido picked up something from the floor and snickered as he held it amongst his fingers. " Ooh, lacy lingerie. I wonder how you managed to sneak into Cross's room in the night....or maybe she let you in ? "

_**" GET THE HELL OUTTA MY ROOM ! "**_

" Yes, Kiryu-kun. Lessgo, Aido ! "

-poof-

* * *

" Aido ? "

" Yes, Ichijo ? "

" ....My birthday cake was made out of tofu. "

They were back in Ichijo's room. Aido merely chuckled at the random comment. " I'm glad I left early. Your party probably sucked. "

" Can we do this aga- "

" _No._ "

^^ " Okay, then ! I'll plan for next week ! "

T.T " I'll be ready....."

End


End file.
